I never cease to be amazed by people’s stupidity.

What’s incredible is the amount of disrespect the Police have to endure today because of Democrat’s lies.

What do I mean about Democrat lies? Well, ever since George Floyd there is the bullshit narrative about Police being dangerous to Black men.

Homicide (predominantly committed intraracially, meaning Black victims are most often killed by Black offenders) is the leading cause of death for Black men aged 15 to 34.

While Black men face a much higher rate of fatal police encounters compared to white men (roughly 2.5 to 3 times higher), the total number of deaths caused by police officers nationwide each year (roughly 1,000 to 1,138 total deaths across all races, with a fraction of those being Black men) is vastly lower than the thousands of homicides recorded annually within Black communities.

No Significant Racial Disparity in Shootings (Some Studies): In his widely cited empirical analysis of police data from multiple cities and New York City's Stop-and-Frisk program, Roland Fryer found no racial differences in officer-involved shootings in either the raw data or when accounting for contextual factors.

However in terms of total numbers? For example in 2025 the date shows this: 

• White: 564 deaths
• Black: 302 deaths
• Hispanic: 236 deaths

WOW! Almost DOUBLE the number of deaths caused by Police were white!

Anyway, when I deal with the Police? Look, I am not happy to get a ticket if I get stopped but I am always respectful and really, it’s quite simple… why would you be rude to someone? Rudeness only welcomes more rudeness. It won’t ever get you what you want especially in a situation where someone can really screw with you.

I watch all those shows with Police in the field, COPS, COPS Reloaded, On Patrol Live, Bodycam all of them and I think about them as a primer in stupidity.

Here are some examples of women who just think that being a woman entitles them to act out. What’s great about this is that it just goes to show how women really DON’T WANT TO BE EQUAL. In the case of men, they WOULD NOT get the same amount of rope by the Police. 

23 years later it’s still good. (actually it’s really 27 years later)

Sometimes, I’ll put the TV on in the background just to fill up the quiet. There are a lot more times lately when it’s just quiet which I seem to do more and more of while working but I do have that habit. There’s a movie I think it’s one of the best movies I’ve ever seen.

I had it on in the background today and there’s this one scene (out of many) with a monologue and the dialogue is heartbreaking and raw, I mean this actually gets me teary but it’s done so well and is such a testament to the actor delivering the lines:

K - You don't want any water?

No… I just… (starts crying a bit) I’m so fucked up here Alan, I don’t know… there’s so much… so many things…

K - Are you on drugs right now?

If I talk to you… y’know… if I tell you things… then you’re a lawyer, right? You can’t say things, you can’t tell anyone, it’s like the privelage, right? Attorney-client, you understand?

K -Not exactly, Linda. I’m not sure where you’re going with this…

Like a shrink, like if I go to see a shrink, I’m protected, I can say things… fuck! I don’t know what I’m doing

K - Linda, you’re safe. Ok. It’s alright. You’re my friend. You and Earl are my clients and
what you need to talk about won’t leave this room, you have something you have to say… 

I have something to tell you. I have to tell you something. I want to change his will, can I change
his will? … I need to…

K - You can’t change his will. Only Earl can change his will.

No, no… NO, you see… I never loved him! I never loved him, Earl. When I started… when I met him… I met him and I fucked him and I married him because I wanted his money! do you understand?

I’m telling you this now… this I’ve never told anyone… I didn’t love him! And now… I know I’m in that will… I know, I was there with him… we were all there together when we made that fucking thing and all the money I’ll get… I don’t want it! Because I love him so much now! I’ve fallen in love with him now… for real… as he’s dying! and I look at him and he’s about to go… Alan, he’s dead… he’s moments…

I took care of him through this, Alan. And… What Now? Then?

I don’t want him to die! I didn’t love him when we met… and I’ve done so many bad things to him that he doesn’t know… things I want to confess to him… but now I do: I love him! I love him so much and I can’t stand… he’s going…

K - What kind of medication are you on right now, Linda that’s…

This is not any fucking medication talking… this isn’t! I don’t know… I don’t know… Can you give me nothing?

You have power of attorney… can you see him… can you? In this final fucking moment… go see him and make sure… change the fucking will! I don’t want any money… I couldn’t live with myself, this thing I’ve done! I’ve fucking done so many bad things… I fucked around. I fucked around on him! I fucking cheated on him… Alan… You’re his lawyer, our laywer, THERE!

I’m his wife… we are married. I broke the conract of marriage! I fucking cheated on him… many times over, I sucked other men’s cocks! and fuck… fuck… fuck… fuck… Other Things I’ve Done…

The scene goes on a bit after that but that’s the thrust of it before it winds down and she leaves. Julianne Moore gives one of the best performances of her career in Magnolia. This was Paul Thomas Anderson’s follow up film after Boogie Nights (another great movie) and before Punch Drunk Love (an amazing movie). It’s got an amazing cast and an incredible soundtrack by Aimee Mann. If you’ve never seen it, it’s streaming on HBO Max until the end of October and it’s really worth a watch. 

The things that fascinate me.

I’ve already said I spend an inordinate amount of time cooking. If you live alone, you have the choice of eating premade frozen food or making your own food. If you eat premade frozen food, you’re eating a lot of chemicals you likely shouldn’t have as part of your diet as well as not being able to manage your intake of salt.

Things like this get ever more important the older you get.

So, I find myself watching the oddest of things because I keep trying to expand my repertoire and skills. I watch and learn how to cook different recipes and prepare different foods and then I wonder to myself why I waited so long in my life to learn these things.

One of the things seeing these videos has made me think quite seriously about is buying a whole cow but that’s a discussion for another time. I landed on that after watching this video:

I have to say, these videos and the channel are absolutely wonderful to watch. I don’t have a Kitchen Aid mixer, I had purchased one many years ago with all the attachments and let Madame X take it with her when she hightailed it for better surroundings. I have to imagine she still has it and doesn’t or won’t even acknowledge where it came from but again, something to cry about another time.

In the video below the guy makes sausages and again, just absolutely riveting.

The only problem I’ve been having is that you make something and then in a one person household it is something akin to overkill so I have taken to sharing it with my octogenarian proxy mom and she has been truly delighted and brags to her own daughter about my cooking skills so there at least someone benefits from my efforts besides me. 

Check out the man’s channel, it’s really worth the time: https://www.youtube.com/@lewisofsunningdale

Well they were the best of time and the worst of times…

Yesterday, I made my way into Manhattan. I had to really think about when the last time I’d gone into the city was. Now, two things here… you’ll notice I said ‘the city’ because if you grew up in the New York metropolitan area, you don’t say you are going into Manhattan you say you’re going into the city.

New York City is big and has five boroughs… the Bronx (the only part of New York City connected to the continental United States) and then four other boroughs that are stand alone islands or part of an island… Manhattan, Staten Island, Brooklyn and Queens (the last two part of Long Island).

If you go to any of the other four boroughs you call them out by name… Manhattan? That’s ‘The City’ to the natives.

Our language moment out of the way, I realized the last time I had ventured in, I took the train in on my annual celebration last year to go and visit the Statue of Liberty with a friend and then to have the most amazing dinner in the Green Room at the Grand Brasserie which was wonderful. It was truly a good day but I was indeed tired after it all.

This time I drove in and parked on the Upper West Side and then took the subway down to where I needed to go (Hudson Yards).

The drive was… well, they have done all these things in the city now to make driving impossible. It’s a joke really. Aside from the stupid congestion tax, they’ve blocked lanes, put up these stupid dining sheds, changed the timing on lights, lowered speed limits, basically EVERYTHING YOU CAN FUCKING DO TO MAKE A CITY NOT A CITY!

If you want to live in the country? MOVE TO THE FUCKING COUNTRY!!!! It’s amazing. The people in charge are just assholes. I spoke to a friend of mine who lives in Brooklyn, teaches in Manhattan and has refused to take the subway for the last several years so he drives in and pays the stupid Congestion Tax and even he admits the Congestion Tax HAS DONE NOTHING! A trip that would take him 20 minutes by car now takes 40 minutes. SO MUCH FOR AIR QUALITY!!! It’s amazing to see disingenuous politicians and rich Manhattanites try to mask their NIMBY BULLSHIT behind supposed loftier aims… they’re reducing pedestrian deaths (try again), they’re reducing congestion (they aren’t)… the only thing they are doing is making life idyllic for rich people living in Manhattan who EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PUBLIC TRANSIT OPTIONS OWN CARS!!!!

This is some true lefty bullshit here.

Working people? People who work off hours and live outside of the city without adequate public transit options? People who need to drive in because the public transit commute would involve too many facets? Well, TOUGH, you’re just FUCKED and a casualty of liars.

Okay… so with my screed out of the way. The drive was a pain in the ass because certain roadways were backed up and then any workaround or bypass you can use just becomes tortuous because of what they’ve done.

I did get down to the city and the first thing that happened as I was at the light coming off the exit to local streets was that there was a shirtless man hanging out at the light trying to intimidate people into giving him money. WELCOME TO THE BAD OLD DAYS!!!

Rudy Giuliani got rid of squeegee men, panhandlers, homeless on the streets and at least Bloomberg didn’t let the city slide backwards but with a parade of Democratic idiots? DiBlasio, Adams and now the Communist… we’re right back where we were in the nineties but instead they’ve made it so it’s impossible to escape.

Think about it… I haven’t gone in in over a year and I’ve stopped going in even though I’ve lived here all of my life and the very first thing when I do get into the city is getting into a confrontation with some clown trying to grift and because I have my window open on a hot day and make it clear he should stay away the response I get is a tantrum where I am looking around in the car for a heavy object to use to hit said beggar with if he gets any closer to my personal space.

THAT’S TODAY’S NEW YORK.

Anyway, I looked for a while for a spot. Looking for a spot is a zen labor. The more desperate you are to find a parking spot the less likely you are to find one. I though I spied a spot close to where the highway exit was but there again was said beggar and I didn’t want to leave my vehicle unattended around him so that was out.

Back and forth I went along side streets and avenues, at one point I was simply too far from where I wanted to be anyway and I turned back to get closer and when I released myself from the whole experience there before me was a car pulling out and I just pulled right in. ZEN.

I walked over to the subway station. Upper Broadway is so different now and the one thing Manhattan proves is that it is in a constant state of change. So, I looked around as I walked and it struck me I did really miss that walking around Manhattan that I used to do. It’s something you can’t really do in the same way outside of Manhattan since it’s so dense and there is a discovery on every block. Then I saw someone who you only really see in Manhattan, a very striking tall blonde (dyed) woman standing talking with a man. Her mien only works in Manhattan, it wouldn’t be the same anywhere else.

That’s what walking around the city is like.

When I tried to use the stupid card to take the train it didn’t work but that’s another story and the token lady helped me out and just used her card to get me through the turnstiles which was nice of her. The train ride was really the same standard subway ride I’m used to and it was only three stops to get from where I started to where I was going. The ride itself was super quick (another benefit of being a native). It was one of the reasons I parked where I did.

Got off the second express stop, headed downstairs and caught the 7.

I laughed waiting for the 7… I was looking at the mosaic. It’s Times Square but throughout the 7 line stop the walls have a big TS emblazoned on them. Meant nothing years ago but sure does today. Ironically this is after Times Square has been scrubbed of the wonderful seediness of times gone by.

And after a moment on the 7 I ascended into the glistening monstrosity that is Hudson Yards. Another part of the city I can remember quite differently.

I went to the Edge which is this glassed in wall for the company meetup and as I said I’m not big on these things but I hadn’t seen anyone in over a year and it was nice. Mind you, I am likely the oldest person there and one of the very few men in attendance. Remind me again how white men have this big privilege thing because I must have been absent when they handed all that stuff out and have spent my entire life eating shit at work.

Male white privilege, more nonsense from people who want to push their craziness on the world.

So, the time on “The Edge” was brief but I really have to say as these things go? Save your money.

It’s nice and all but the whole thing is set up to take your money from you… you enter through a store where they want to sell you stuff. They take your picture (which they want to sell you later), everything up top is more high priced tchotchkes and the like and overpriced snack bar crap (I kid you not, $7 for a hot dog, A FUCKING HOT DOG!!!!). On your way out you exit through ANOTHER STORE and before you even get to the store they’re trying to sell you that photo thing.

Some people went to have early happy hour and I did attend after taking advantage of the highly discounted company store where I stocked up on some things and after doing so saving $40 bucks on over $60 bucks worth of stuff! So that made the trip somewhat worth it but then as I was with the other folks at the happy hour I got the second best annual celebration present as I was told they were renewing my contract so at least for now as much as I may complain I don’t have to worry about having a job for at least another 14 months!

YAY! 

I haven’t really been writing much lately.

It’s disappointing really because I can’t say I’ve done much of anything outside of work, work and more work.

In the meantime, the disaster that grows around me just continues to grow and I am reminded of the Shelley poem: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

There aren’t ‘works‘ though in any sense, just a house that continually falls deeper into disrepair and amasses more clutter. I simple have been lacking the energy to do anything these days and there is just so many things I should be doing that I have allowed to slide.

Tomorrow, there is a work event that requires me to go into the city and truth be told I’m just not looking forward to it.

Why?

Well, I had set up an Omnicard which they use now instead of the Metrocard but they fucked around with that even though they took my picture and my money to fund the card. They sent back my application but oddly enough didn’t send back the money I had loaded on the card just creating another problem to deal with.

So, if I go into the city, there’s an opportunity to rectify that but I really don’t care to be bothered to tell you the truth.

I have to desperately get a haircut before I go in, simply because days and weeks and months of working from home and not really needing to go out means that I am unkempt. I need to clean myself too having developed bad hygienic habits over the period of time. I have to do laundry as well.

Work has been such that it’s been a clusterfuck of disaster as the people within my own company just continue to fuck up and then fuck up more and fuck up even more after that meaning I have to pick up their slack and things keep coming to me late and in groups which they shouldn’t. Then I have to track down people to look at things and approve then and deal with vendors as well but everything instead of happening in a smooth flow all has to happen at once because my company KEEPS FUCKING UP!

My own annual celebration was recent but I didn’t even take time off and even though I was offered the opportunity to be feted didn’t do that either because work is simple exhausting.

And then I’m worried too about next year and being renewed.

So, I just work, make food, vegetate and watch the tube and really don’t accomplish anything else. It’s not a great life but I’ll take it.

The other day, I reached out to a few people. I don’t know why really other than maybe being a bit lit at the end of the day and the mind wandering.

I reached out to a friend who I worked with and who I just simply hadn’t had any contact with and the next day early my phone was blowing up with messages from him.

Younger than me by almost a decade he relayed how he has Stage 4 cancer. We had a long conversation shortly afterward, it’s sobering really but the truth of it is and the thing you don’t realize when you are a young person is that you are not invincible nor are you eternal. You may have grandparents but there isn’t a guarantee that you will match their number of years logged on the planet.

He’s a good guy too… that’s what’s really sad about it. Not that there ever is a situation to be happy about these things.

Since, I started this job, two of the women in our group have died. I’m not talking about dying of old age either, both of these women died before they hit 55. One was the woman that hired me at my previous job and she was really a nice person and the other again was a super nice woman who had stepped back from work. The thing of it was over the summer I had reached out to her via email and told her how much she was missed and never heard back but she died shortly afterward making me feel a little foolish,

I guess this is my roundabout way of saying, yeah… life can be fucked up. There are times when you feel you are in a rut and nothing is happening or maybe things aren’t going the way you want them but even though that’s the case? You really should be counting your lucky stars because in all honesty there are no guarantees, every fucking day that you are on this planet is a gift, every new day opens up before you with possibility and don’t take it for granted because there are a lot of other people who would willingly trade places with you. 

Oh my god!!!!!

I had said I’m loving Lanterns and last week I already said that I suspected Noah, the Manhunter’s grandson is the one who killed Hal. This is something apparently I was not the only one noticing but I was just rewatching the preview for Episode 7…

Episode 6 kind of dragged but was a necessary evil to get you to a certain point in the story. Yes, Hal Jordan IS DEAD! This bothers me quite a bit because I like Kyle Chandler’s Hal Jordan and want to see more of him. I also like Aaron Pierre’s John Stewart… when they get casting right it only makes the thing even better.

Anyway, back to the preview of Episode 7. There are a bunch of cuts but one has John Steward punching someone. The someone he’s punching is wearing a cowl.

Does that mean they have found the new Spectre of the DCU?!!?!? Remember… James Gunn is calling this phase of the DCU, GODS AND MONSTERS!!

 

I’m loving Lanterns.

If you haven’t watched it I would suggest you do because it’s really terrific. HBO made one of the best comic based series with Penguin and they’ve followed up now with Lanterns. Given that Peacemaker is so much fun I have to say as far as the TV side of things goes they’ve been doing a great job.

Last week they revealed who the Manhunter was which was something I had already guess at. The season only has three episodes left and the first episode ended with John Steward finding Hal Jordan shot in the head on a snowy grandstand in the remote Nebraska town where much of the series takes place.

My money is on the Sheriff’s kid being the person who shot Jordan. They hinted at it in the most recent episode in a bit of throwaway dialogue that was aptly camouflaging an important plot point. It won’t take long to see if I’m right.

Again, HBO is really knocking it out of the park with these DC shows and Disney hasn’t really been doing all that well with Marvel properties recently since Wonder Man finished so it’s nice to see something good show up. 

There are times where you feel like you’re going through a desert.

Lately, I haven’t really been all that compelled to write anything on the blog.

The summer was a lost summer and even though I had time off I don’t feel I made the proper use of it. Even now as I write this I had the last week off and I can’t say I really accomplished anything at all which is frustrating to say the least.

My days are occupied by cooking a ot of the time and just getting through a day which flies by way too fast at this point in life.

Oh, and I went for another medical test last week. This time it was an MRI which I managed to get through fairly well.

If you haven’t ever had any kind of MRI it’s really an experience to say the least. You lie down on this long flat pad and it gets lifted up and moves you into a tube. Once you’re in the tube and the best way I can describe this is for you to imagine a huge very thick donut with a person size hole in the middle. In this case the donut is solid material and the contents of the donut are magnets that spin around you.

It makes a ton of noise when they are doing the test. Lots of clacking while this is all going on and they give you headphones to drown out the noise and also for you to get instructions.

The first time I went for one of these was over twenty years ago. Before I went I was continually asked, ‘Are you claustrophobic?’ ‘Are you claustrophobic?’ ‘Are you claustrophobic?’

I had never known myself to be at all claustrophobic but this is one of those instances where people keep asking you about something you’ve never even thought about and if they hadn’t asked you, it likely would not have been an issue but in this case they asked and they asked and they asked and when they put me in the machine well the first thing was it was a tight fit in that tube. I mean to the point where as I went into the thing my arms were pressed to my sides.

Also, I just went in and then made the mistake of opening my eyes and seeing the top of the tube right there. It was a very, very confined space.

I immediately freaked out. I went back the next day after the doctor who had sent me for the MRI prescribed two valium. Once I had the valium? No problem.

Also?

VALIUM IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!!!

Seriously, I mean after I took the test and was on my way home I noticed just the difference in the way I felt, all the stress and anxiety I carry around and normally feel was entirely gone. It was simply amazing! This was me as a perfect person.

Sounds weird right?

If it was up to me? I’d be taking valium every day. I can see how people could get addicted to it. Although unfortunately it’s a drug that the more you take of it, the less effective it is and it’s very addictive from what I hear. In any event, valium has been the solution to the MRI experience as well as some other things.

The last time I went the guy played classic rock music which helped. This tech didn’t do that unfortunately but I was able to master my thinking during the test which helped using some visualization I hadn’t tried before and given that I had gotten only a single valium instead of two (which is really what I should get being a big boy) was necessary. Then there is also the sleep mask I wear now when doing these things so if I open my eyes it’s just black which strangely isn’t as anxiety ridden as seeing the narrowness of the tube.

So, I got that done. Then I did some spackling for my 88 year old surrogate parent which was my good deed. I had repainted her screen door recently so I’ve been trying to bank some good karma.

The rest of the time while I was off I just idled away the days. That’s not a good thing but it’s been an exhausting year. 

I just had to see…

How fast I could get in and out and get something up on the blog. I’ve been really bad lately. I’ve started a bunch of things and then just run out of steam even though the drafts queue has something of a logjam going on.

Summer is going by way… way… way too fast and honesty I’m just not taking advantage of it the way I should be. There’s plenty of yardwork to do, lots of things to do around the house but all of it is getting undone or even just not started.

Days fly by, weeks rocket past and I simple don’t know where the time goes.

I’m also struggling lately it seems. I don’t know what changed but things are very, very tight. I’m someone who doesn’t like being in debt and I can’t say that I am deep in debt but because of the situation I am living a very monk like existence.

There is so much shit around here that I simply need to sell, stuff that takes up space and that really is worth money that people will buy it but I have to get off of my lazy ass and follow through.

Work has been up and down and that’s likely part of the problem. I thought I would be able to coast through the rest of the summer but some internal dynamics have made the job a helluva lot more difficult that it should be. Holding people’s hand to get them to do their fucking job correctly and running interference with a client isn’t fun.

I really don’t need to spend time covering for the people on my team who are fucking up and somehow think they are being put upon to do their jobs which is something I admittedly find amazing.

I have to admit to being a little worried that the company would bag on me early even though my contract is supposed to run through the end of the year but it’s sounding like that’s just me stressing for no reason and I’ve even made inroads to the point where if my contract for the current role I’m in ends there may be another position in the company they would want me for (this is a good thing).

I actually had someone tell me that if my contract winds up ending and they are cutting me loose to let them know because people with my skills are hard to find and they will be looking for a place for me.

 I don’t want to work FOREVER but I do need to work for another couple of years before I could retire and even then things will be tight so if I can extend it until 70 and increase that SSI payout, why not although one wonders if it will be there when I do retire and if it’s not well I’ll be really fucked!

 Anyway, hope your summer is going well. I have a vacation coming up so I’m looking forward to doing lots of fun things I’ve been putting off! 

Summer is my happy time.

It’s been really hot and truthfully I haven’t been outside too much but summer is still my happy time of the year regardless. The days are longer and for me that’s the biggest bonus there is… give me sunlight, sunlight and more sunlight and I am happy. Banish the dark and banish the night.

Even though it’s my happy time of year I have to admit to just not feeling like doing much.

What’s that about?

In the past few days, I repaired a trash can lid doing some plastic welding and felt like it was a major achievement. I also hung new drapes over my work window which also was something of an achievement. I have a long list of things I need to do around here and the truth of it is I just am not getting to things the way I should be.

Today, I realized I could very well be out of work before my birthday which would be very, very, very, very, very bad.

I simply am not at a point where I can afford not to be working and I am so close to achieving some major goals. Those goals though are dependent on me continuing to work so now the anxiety of looking for a gig raises its ugly head and the first order of business is to scramble around and see if I can latch on somewhere within the company by letting people know this project is wrapping up.

In all honesty? I’d really like to work a little more than another two years, maybe three and then just call it.

It’s so hard to save and so easy to spend it seems.

This year, it seems as if money is in even more short supply even though I have been working and I’m trying to understand why that is. I get a sense I know the answer to it aside from prices going up and my salary staying the same but also some decisions I made as well as some things changing.

Medicare is good but it isn’t great and it is surprisingly expensive between all the premiums and the out of pocket expenses.

Last week I was off for most of the week although I did peek into work from time to time and I had set things up in such a way that the train kept moving forward.

You’d think I got a lot done but I didn’t. I did get a medical test, saw some doctors, met a friend for lunch, took another person out for their birthday and saw Supergirl as well as made sure my cousin got flowers for her birthday and it seemed like the week went by fast. I’ve got another week off coming up and honestly I can’t wait and the another week in the beginning of September but all in all it just doesn’t seem like there is enough time to do everything or maybe it’s that I don’t have the energy.

I keep trying to think about what I did that was so earth-shattering but then I remember I did a lot of cooking. There’s always cleaning to do too… I’m just mister excitement what can I say!

Testing… testing… testing…

We are all of us preoccupied with tests.

When we are kids, we all get to take those standardized tests in school (although not having children I wonder if they are still doing that). For my peers and I that meant being given two pencils and a form that could be scanned by a computers where you filled in ovals with your answers be it A, B, C, D or E.

After you got past those tests in the lower grades, the next big round of tests you got was the SATs. I never took an SAT but I did take a PSAT and scored well. Go figure. It didn’t really do me so much good as I wound up dropping out of high school and then going back to get a GED later when I couldn’t get myself a demeaning low level job and was angry and annoyed about it. Needless to say, the GED thing was a piece of cake and after a night class of a month or so I aced that. Never mind I was ready to graduate midway through my junior year and only a credit or two short before I transferred from prep school to local NYC public high schools where there were metal detectors and education was something of a joke.

Now that I’m older, I get to have the fun of different kinds of test but these tests are even more important then ever before! These are the medical tests!

They are CT Scans, MRIs and Colonoscopies where they look inside of you to figure out where your body went wrong or things have gone awry.

This past week, I had another one of these CT scans, another test. The thing went well and what’s wild is that now, I can log in and actually read the report and look at the images to see everything. One group of doctors orders the test and then I take the info, download it and then upload it so another group of doctors are in the loop.

It’s really kind of amazing when you think about it but a lot of the hoops I jump through are because of the Byzantine way insurance and the whole medical bullshit is set up.

If my doctor who works with a particular hospital arranges for a test it can cost me thousands of dollars but if I arrange the test myself and get the preapproval and all of the lined up it only costs me the $160 dollar co-pay. Think about that… one is a bill for over $14k and the other is $160 out of pocket and tell me again that everything works!

Anyway, I’m off this week and doing self maintenance but checking in on work to keep things moving. That’s some vacation, right? Nonetheless, I don’t want my life to be crazy so this is what I do to keep the waters still. Today I will go see the Supergirl movie, pick up rock salt to salt the earth and kill some unwanted greenery, buy flowers for someone for their birthday and likely go to the local food pantry to gloom some food and coupons for the local farmer’s market. Plus there are other assorted errands to run. It seems like a day but I never get enough done and today, I only managed to wash the dishes and order new drapery for a specific window and nap.

I live an exciting life to be sure but it’s all good as I binge watch Severance.

I’ve been caught up with work.

It’s fascinating in a way, I’ve been so preoccupied with other things between work and just self maintenance I haven’t had the wherewithal to stop and take a break. I also find myself ever so occupied getting into the three versions of soduku on a local newspaper site… easy, medium and hard. I find the easy something less than a challenge and focus on the hard and medium mainly.

I watch things going on and I have to say it’s just fascination how the same group of folks want to project, project and project some more. Who are they? Well, they’re the people who believe they wear white hats, they believe they are ‘freedom fighters,’ they think they are ‘protecting Democracy from fascism’ when the truth of things is they are upset at not getting their way.

All the things they say they are against they embrace and blame the people they don’t like because by projecting they deflect away from taking responsibility for their own behavior.

This week, Democrats were upset because the guy with the Nazi tattoo, a man who not only raped women and was something of a misogynist finally was no longer able to shield himself from his past. This was after a party that is so entirely corrupt and hungry for power couldn’t support the lies anymore.

The people who went around chanting ‘believe her’ not too long ago, once again showed themselves to be total hypocrites who actually did everything they could to discredit victims and not just one but many. The same way they did with Joe Biden, the same way they did with Eric Swalwell. These are the same people who want to have people believe the bullshit story by E Jean Carroll about a purported sexual assault that happened amazingly in a crowded department store in the middle of the day in Manhattan really happened. Never mind that entire charade had been one of the party’s biggest financial donors, Reid Hoffman. Never mind that Carroll had spent the better part of her life tearing down men (ask John Johnson) writing books and columns that defined the word misandry.

Yes, these same people wanted to deny yet again the behavior in their own that supposedly they found outrageous.

You see it all had to do with winning.

That’s what it’s all about you see. It has nothing to do with lofty principals. It only has to do with getting their way and imposing their wills upon others.

And they call the people they dislike fascists, what a joke.

These are people who genuinely believe our nation is evil and root for the true evil in the world.

They are just sad.

But as sad and pathetic as they may be, they are very much a threat. Democrats you see have always cheated. What do I mean? I mean if you know your history, then the I can tell you it’s pretty easy to look it up.

The Democrats are the people who gave us the KKK. There was a reason they were rabid about tearing down all those civil war statues, about removing the names of all those confederate military officers and the like. 

“Those who control the present, control the past and those who control the past control the future.” 

If you remove the evidence of the past as the Democrats want to actively do, then you can create and control the future. Want to trot out the lie that ‘the parties flipped?’ How about a few other examples…

We also have Tammany Hall in New York. Tammany Hall another political machine of the Democrats where Democrats harvested immigrants and used them to win elections (sound familiar?). Go look at the Scorsese movie Gangs of New York, it’s not a secret. If you know New York’s history, then you know that Democrats had a machine that ran the city for decades.

The city reformed under mayor Fiorella LaGuardia, A REPUBLICAN!

Oh, so I’m just lying right? And that’s an isolated instance. And The Jim Crow South that was run by Democrats and Tammany Hall also fun by Democrats are isolated instances… sure, right?

But then, there’s the Daley Machine in Chicago:

The potent Democratic machine that dominated Chicago politics for nearly half a century formed under the leadership of Anton Cermak, a Bohemian immigrant of working-class origins. After the death of Cook County Democratic leader George Brennan in 1928, Cermak secured control of the party hierarchy and defeated Thompson in the 1931 mayoral campaign.

Chicago STILL isn’t a working city and has only swung further and further to the Left. Imagine… a PRESIDENT CAME OUT OF CHICAGO, HIS CHIEF OF STAFF WAS MAYOR AND THE CITY IS EVEN WORSE TODAY THAN IT WAS BEFORE OBAMA CAME INTO OFFICE!

But wait… let’s just write that off to racism on my part, right? I mean because I dare criticize someone of color that means I have to be a racist even though he is aligned with the party that gave us the KKK. I mean you really CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!!!

Oh and New York… it wasn’t as if things got better because Democrats regained control and bought the city to the point of bankruptcy. The guy that followed, Ed Koch? The great thing about Koch (who served three terms and we have to remember that when Giuliani talked about running for a third term in the immediate aftermath of September 11th was called derisively Mussolini) had the wheels come off as the city had one Democratic scandal after another starting with Donald Manes, followed by Stanley Simon, Stanley Friedman and Bess Myerson.

That corruption NEVER WENT AWAY!!!

Every major American city in the hands of Democrats has suffered.

Here’s an even better rub for you… you will hear Democrats talk about crime figures being higher in red states that in blue states overlooking the facts that both NYPD and LAPD don’t report their crime statistics to the FBI or the fact that they have decriminalized many things meaning it’s not that crime has gone down as much as they decided to stop enforcing the law.

But to get right back to the red state/blue state myth… when you do a deeper dive, what you come to find is that the most crime ridden areas in those red states, the ones that are the most responsible for those higher crime figures? THEY ARE CITIES THAT HAVE BEEN IN THE HANDS OF DEMOCRATIC LEADERS FOR DECADES!!!!

Little Rock Arkansas, Memphis and Nashville Tennessee, Baton Rouge and New Orleans Louisiana the list goes on and on and on… blue islands in the middle of red states that are like a tumor on the body politic of the nation.

The point here is that for all the hysterics of our friends on the Left… they are the cancer. The things they touch, they destroy. They believe in building a bigger bureaucracy no matter how inefficient it is.

Democrats love unions and one of their biggest supporters are the teacher’s union and the teacher’s union has destroyed education in this country. A recent study here in New York came out with these jewels:

Remember this number: 906.

That’s how many perennial failure factories, out of 1,600 city schools, are allowed to fester year after year.

They enroll 409,379 kids, or 43% of all NYC public school children.

Just how bad are they? In 503 of them, the majority of students failed both math and reading last year, some for a whole decade.

Despite massive amounts of extra resources and attempts at reform, these schools have never successfully turned around.

And bizarrely, the more a school fails, the more categorical federal aid it qualifies for — which gets siphoned into more money for adults before reaching any students. 

Meanwhile, education funding forever ratchets upward: Mayor Mamdani is handing the Department of Education $38.6 billion this year — an increase of almost $4 billion from last year, despite plummeting enrollment — with no strings attached. New York City spent $40 billion on public education in 2024 — $36,293 per pupil, double the national average of $17,619.

And catholic and charter schools are both giving students better outcomes. Kids are failing but DEMOCRATS who get the support of the UFT don’t do a damn thing aside from digging deeper into your pocket.

And that’s by design, don’t think it isn’t because only a fool would vote for Democrats who promise everything will be free and the world will a great place but will only turn around and make excuses and blame other for their failures. 

Just remember all of this you hear another Democrat yell about fascists and protecting Democracy and all that other bullshit they’re pushing because it’s simply a lie.

Doctor, Doctor, Give me the news!

I don’t know if anyone is even paying attention anymore but the BBC pulled the plug on Doctor Who thankfully. The show has been a pale imitation of what it was ever since Jenna Coleman left the series. I for one was not crazy about Peter Capaldi’s doctor. In all honesty since the relaunch? Matt Smith was my fave, there wasn’t a bad note in any of those series and he’s follow by Eccleston and then Tennant which likely surprises a lot of people.

Smith had this great chemistry first with Arthur Darvill and Karen Gillan and then with Jenna Coleman. I mean there are episodes that leave me in tears. They’re beautiful, they’re dramatic and they tug at my heart strings. I think some of the best episodes were made with Smith’s doctor, The Impossible Astronaut, A Good Man Goes to War, Let’s Kill Hitler, The Girl Who Waited are just great episodes to watch. Then you have Asylum of the Daleks which is really heartbreaking and The Name of the Doctor which is one of the best episodes ever.

It had gone downhill after The Name of the Doctor and never matched it.

Peter Capaldi was bad, Jodi Whitaker was worse and then Ncuti Gatwa was the final nail in the coffin. Mind you, NONE of those folks are bad actors, they’re just not but the trapping of the stories around them just continued to go downhill as story became secondary to pushing an agenda.

I’ve seen people say that Doctor Who shouldn’t be considered what it was which was a show that was geared towards family watching and children and I have to wonder, WHY NOT?!?!

I mean, what’s wrong with making an entertaining show like that? What’s wrong with leaving your agenda at the door and writing things that can be true to the source material and make people happy.

What’s great is that you had people who called the folks who weren’t happy with the direction the Doctor Who franchise was taking all sorts of names. All the while the ratings just kept dropping and dropping. Some people just don’t learn.

And the critical drinker sums it up once more.

So they’ve been running this commercial…

I actually like the commercial where a guy is asking his ‘devices’ to do things and they just keep getting it wrong or ignoring him. It helps that they’ve got one of the most kick ass songs of the seventies playing under it even if it isn’t the artist and just a cover. I keep thinking how lucky I am to have gone through two really great musical periods both in the 70s and the 90s. It’s not that I’m dissing the 60s which for me was one of big AM radio but I was a kid for much of that and as a kid you listen to the things and the radio that other people put on. The 80’s had a couple of years in the middle where things were in flux.

Getting back to the original thing though… one of my favorite bands did a cover of this star’s songs, Take Me To The River which is a great cover of a great song and the song is STILL AS FUCKING GOOD as it was when it was first released and I defy people to show me anything that comes close to matching it today:

The incredible Al Green!

The things I’ve forgotten.

Okay, maybe not forgotten so much as put them aside only to come back and rediscover them and feel joy at the rediscovery.

I have this project I keep procrastinating about for the blog and I find myself dabbling at time doing research for it. In the course of my travels I came across this and really it’s just amazing. The sad thing about this is that such a creative person was battling the very thing that made him so amazingly creative… himself.

We see this across history, it’s really gruesome. The other, the outsider, the feeling of being alone that allows someone to have an ability to take a look at the world around them and capture something many feel but can’t put into words. The thing that’s horrible that this person didn’t understand is just how many other people felt like he did and he really wasn’t alone at all.

So, I ask you to watch this and take in the beauty of it. There’s a simplicity that is absent from a lot but the simplicity here only manages to clearly display the strength of the music and the message:

The raw quality of his voice and the emotion that comes through is just stunning. Mind you… 139 days after this performance, this man would eat a shotgun killing himself. How sad is that? He was in pain and he felt that nothing could help him, he turned to drugs and still the emptiness inside of him was doing its best to swallow him whole.

This is very similar to depression, the hopelessness that seems all consuming and what’s horrible is what didn’t happen. People around him DID love him. People around him DID want to help him. People though have a problem with mental illness though, as if it were contagious, as if it were something the person could just FIX!

Here is what Cobain left behind, again… in my book I honestly wished he had held out longer and gotten the right kind of help but that help likely would have meant taking quite a long break from the thing that was his world, his band and his music. I wish he had taken the time out to step back because he likely had a lot more to give the world. I just want to say as someone who has dealt with this kind of a struggle my entire life that if you are suffering in this way, go out and find someone… a professional to talk to. Read about what’s going on inside of you and work on your own inner voice and thought processes. It never really goes away but you can at least make it so you don’t feel as if you are inundated by the high tide and drowning.

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I havent felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example when were back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins It doesnt affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I cant fool you, any one of you. It simply isnt fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if im having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch in time clock before I walk out on stage. Ive tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but its not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when theyre gone. Im too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, Ive had a much better appreciation for all the people Ive known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. Theres good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why dont you just enjoy it? I dont know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I cant stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that Ive become.

I have it good, very good, and Im grateful, but since the age of seven, Ive become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. Im too much of an erratic, moody baby! I dont have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away.

peace, love, empathy. Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, Ill be at your altar. Please keep going Courtney, for Frances. For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! 

 

I’ve got to hand it to the Critical Drinker…

There’s right and then there’s TOTALLY RIGHT!

This is funny.

I will say this, I did watch Starfleet Academy during the period of time that I did have access to Paramount Plus. I mean there was no reason NOT to watch it.

The thing was, it took place in the shithole mess that was left by Discovery. Discovery is, was and will ever be the turd of all Star Trek shows to ever be foisted on the fanbase. Nothing that anyone can say will change me of that opinion. Apparently Paramount is trying to wipe the stink off themselves…

Well, I’m once again trying to clean out some drafts.

I don’t know but it seems lately a lot of the big companies haven’t been able to get things right when it comes to classic properties whether it be Star Trek or Star Wars or Marvel. The problem usually is that someone, somewhere along the line, gets it into their hand that they have to mess with something to make it more ‘equitable.’

This happened recently in House of the Dragon where suddenly there is a Corlys Velaryon is cast along DEI lines. Whenever I see this, it strikes me as being the same thing that happened in the old Charlie Chan movies where a White Guy was playing a Chinese detective. Neither really is right so can we stop it?

I got to thinking about it… back in the nineties they had this show. In the show there was a transgender character. It wasn’t a big deal at all back then and we’re talking about way back in 1993 when the show started!

HOW COULD THAT BE?!?!?!

But, it’s true. The lead character was Black and it didn’t even make a ripple.

See, what happened here was that all of this was done not because boxes needed to be ticked off, not because they needed to have a ‘Black actor’ or a ‘trans person’ but because within the mythology of the universe the story was set in none of this was forced and story was what was driving it.

It turned out to be much better than any of the dreck we have today and better still, some of the shows they ran at the time dealt with issues so seamlessly and so well without putting the ‘show’ of checking of boxes that no one even thought of it being all that outrageous.

The show I’m talking about actually is one of my favorite shows ever and that’s Deep Space Nine.

People today think when you write or produce a TV show you should be ‘inclusive’ and the truth is you really shouldn’t. You should just write a good story and when they cast they should cast along the original intent of the story. Deep Space Nine was great not because it checked boxes but because it had fully developed characters and still dealt with issues the way Star Trek does when it’s at its best.

I would suggest anyone who doesn’t believe me go and take a look at this episode of the show and tell me that any of the shows where they do ‘inclusive’ casting does a better job at dealing with issues:

FAR BEYOND THE STARS

What the fuck happened?

I’ve been off the last few days which has been nice and has given me some time to do things. Even though I’ve been futzing a little with work stuff, I haven’t let it occupy me so much and I’m just doing it at my leisure.

Since I’ve been off, I’ve been out more. My normal routine is to shutter myself inside because since I work remotely there really is no need to go out all that much. The flip side of that is simply that I’m living check to check. I’ve got a goal for myself but to reach that goal I have to live a certain way. Things come along that can break my budget and I’m not all that keen on digging myself into a hole.

So, I don’t really go out much at all because it seems like every time I step out my door I wind up spending $100. Even if I’m just running errands… WHOOOSH!… $100 dollars (minimum) is gone. Thursday, I set up a bunch of MD appointments and there was a period in between appointments where it didn’t make sense to drive back home (gas is expensive these days) so I wanted to find a place where I could just get breakfast.

I found a spot and it was a decent enough place but just having an omelet set me back $24 bucks including the tip!!!! Egg prices were high but they’ve gone down, I imagine that restaurants were able to justify raising prices on anything eggs but of course they don’t REDUCE those prices when their costs return to what they once were.

The omelet was okay but for the price, I expect the waitress to put a bib on me, sit on my lap and feed me my omelet! (sexist I know)

Between that and the $55 dollar co-pay on the office visit plus some minor things BOOM! ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!!

Friday, I went to see the Mandalorian and Grogu. This might be the first movie I’ve seen in a theater since I went last year to go and see Superman or the Fantastic Four.

Again, I’m cheap though… going to a movie these days is ridiculously expensive!

I went to the 3D/Imax/Laser showing of the thing… if I’m going to see something in a theater I want it to be better than if I saw it on my TV at home.

So, I get a senior citizen discount (which is like $1! Big whoop there!) and I have these movie passes I bought some time ago so I used another one of those and the cost of the ticket was about $12. This is not bad really, I mean it’s still $12 but not as expensive as it could be. In the theater, I saw people with their kids and the popcorn and the whole deal and suddenly I realized that between the tickets and the refreshments that was over a $100 easy. Not a cheap day out.

The other thing I do is I go to the supermarket and buy my candy there and bring it in. I’m one of those people, yes. So, I bought a couple of things in with me and that set me back another $10 but at least it was less expensive than if I bought it in the theater.

Afterward, I treated myself to takeout… BOOM there went another $50.

Saturday, I just laid low but today, I had made plans with a friend to go to a convention so I could submit some books for CGC grading. I don’t even want to talk about what that’s costing me and I feel like a dope and am afraid as to whether or not I’ll even recoup the money I’m laying out here. Nothing I have is minty mint but we’ll see what happens once everything is graded. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.

I scrambled to pull and get things ready, met my friend and realized we were a week off on the date!

So we went for breakfast in a diner and BOOM another $20 omelet!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!

I’m seriously afraid I’ve developed into the kind of curmudgeonly older person who balks at the price of everything but it looks more and more that that is what I’m becoming. It’s so hard to save and get ahead and way too easy to watch money fly out of one’s pocket! 

 

Honestly…

I’ve been too busy or is it too lethargic lately to get all that much done. The house just continues to fall into a deeper state of disrepair and the outside as we approach the summer begins to look overgrown and wild.

Work is starting to pick up again although I have to say I find myself reluctant to dive into the deep end of the pool. Plus, in all honestly they bought on another inexperienced person for me to work with on the project, this now makes the third new person in as many projects. This one seems to be a real pip too as I had sent her an email and she decided somehow to read the email publicly in a meeting since she hadn’t read it before… I can’t say I’ve ever seen someone do something like that and it felt a bit like a violation but it told me a lot about her moving forward. Let’s just say I won’t be going out of my way for this person and now that I understand the dynamic I’ll be sure to act in kind.

The other factor is some medical stuff… I spent the day the other day full up on doctor appointments since I took some time off leading into the long weekend. One was supposed to be an appointment with a nurse practitioner which seems totally unnecessary and only adds to the confusion as the doctor is pushing you off on someone else. If anything the last time I saw a nurse practitioner it really was a waste and I forgot how much so that was the case so I didn’t make a stink this time but then the NP in question cancelled at the last minute and I wrote back to the doctor I just want to schedule the test and see him afterward.

I’m not wasting more money unnecessarily.

The other doctor I saw was a pulmonologist for cough, they wanted me to get a chest x-ray afterward and that was an adventure in and of itself since I went down to the department, located in the same building and while the people were out to lunch, I waited and when they came back they finally put out a sign up sheet. I waited and waited some more and finally after 20 minutes (not counting the 15 or so I had already waited) went up and asked how much longer it would be. The woman (who appeared to have a bit of an attitude) said five minutes and when five minutes came and went I went up and told her I was leaving. I complained about it and got a call back so we’ll see where that goes but I still need to get the chest x-ray.

In the meantime the other appointment I had was a bit of a non-starter as well because the thing I was going about turned out to be something I really didn’t have to bother with unless it bothered me so much I could have ambulatory surgery on it and about the only thing I was hoping for was an in-office procedure.

So nix on that.

Other big news was swapping out a new monitor for the old on the computer and getting a replacement back for the aeron chair I have. Not like there aren’t a ton of other things to do around here but those two things got done and lots and lots and lots of cooking.

I was looking around the library website for something and they have a bunch of books they throw up on the landing page. One of the books was a new David Sedaris book which I’d likely read and they had a few others as well which caused me to go to the Wikipedia page for Sedaris to see a list of his books in order and to figure out what I may have read and what I hadn’t.

The page mentioned his sister’s suicide which led me to an article in the New Yorker which I would suggest reading. It reminded me of a friend’s family and she lives down in the Raleigh area too so there was even that much more of a connection and I forwarded the link to her. I don’t talk to her much anymore, she’s changed. It’s sad the way she’s changed but I guess we all develop hard edges over time.

None of us lives for others so as long as she’s happy I guess that’s really all that matters.

Read the Sedaris thing though… it’s worth it:

Now We Are Five By David Sedaris October 21, 2013

I can’t explain.

I don’t know how to describe it but it seems that energy is in short supply these days. Work is gearing up again and I’m just not at all motivated to tell the truth. Once again they’ve paired me up with an inexperienced person who also apparently wants to drive.

I hate to say it but I feel like I’m just running out the clock now.

I have a contract that is supposed to run to the end of the year but from past experience I know that any contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on since they cut me loose in the middle of one two years ago. The company I work for doesn’t really seem all that interested in making me a regular full timer or even considering me for any other roles.

Being on a contract is a bit of a good thing because I don’t have to go through the bullshit review business that regular employers are forced to endure where people write down their goals for the coming year.

This is akin to punishing your employees… you hired people and now you are forcing them to come up with reason to justify their continued employment? I mean what an absolute bit of corporate torment that is.

So, what are your goals for the coming year?

At the six month check-in…

So what is your progress in achieving your stated goals?

Like my only goal is to do my job and collect a fucking paycheck! What the hell is WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!! I’m lucky in that I dodge shit like that, they did it the first year I was there and that was something of a depressing insult when the manager I reported to clearly had a mental image of me that bore no relationship to what I was actually doing. Better still was that it was one of those things that downplayed why the project I was on was a success and kept me from other roles in the company.

Yeah, I can pass on that.

But again, the thing is I just haven’t had a lot of energy and I’m not getting things done the way I need to.

I had to have a scan for the follow up on the whole toe thing and there were some things in the scan that they want me to go for another scan in a few months just to follow up on. It could be nothing but then it could be something too.

I looked at the report and dissected it.

Nothing was odd really and when I did speak to the doctor she just reinforced the research I had done. Yet, I’ve had a cough for a while not that I can’t explain and I just don’t know if it’s Covid or something else.

So, there’s that. Is it age?

Well it could be.

I can see a point where I’m not working though. This contract runs out I just don’t know if they’ll re up me. I don’t trust them to do it. It won’t be easy finding work either, I can tell you that so there’s a big question of how I’ll manage to survive and that’s always lingering around in the background.

I’ve been there… honestly, I’ve been to that place where money is in short supply and you’re choosing whether you are going to have lunch or dinner but it won’t be both. It wasn’t fun or pretty and it’s a hard place to be because there’s the knowledge that no one will swoop in and make everything better. I learned that back then and it colored everything that happened since.

It tore away all the artifice and genteel trappings of the world around me and my relationships with people. More likely than not it wasn’t a positive thing overall.

All I know is that summer is almost here and I really want to enjoy it… 

Food porn. The Mexican Omelet.

So I’m in the process of going through photos I’ve taken and uploading them to my Flickr stream. At the same time, I take pictures of the things I cook so now that gave me the idea for content for the blog which will be food porn. In each instance I’ll post pictures of the thing I made and the recipe if I can track it down.

Today it’s MEXICAN OMELET!!!

This is really not something that really started with a recipe as much as me taking things I have in the house to make something that might catch my fancy. Here, I had sauteed a diced green pepper and a diced onion. 

Really this is just something I threw together that I had a fancy for on a Sunday. Eggs, Chorizo, Green Pepper, Onion, Cilantro, Queso Fresco and various spices like garlic and cumin. Grab some bottle salsa from the fridge and some taco chips and it was quite the meal.

And of course after I sat down and had my omelet it was time for a nap.